Grieving His Brother

There is a bond between twins I do not understand.
I've heard stories of twins knowing when each other gets hurt or is having a hard time even when they are not together.
Even before James could talk he would intuitively know when his brother needed something and garner my attention to take care of Jerard - holding or feeding.
James used to take toys to Jerard and recently pulled out the box of Jerard memories and was playing with one of Jerard's favourite toys.

James has had a lot of sinus infections this school year and many headaches. Whenever his head is hurting to badly he'll ask me if he is going to die like his brother did. He'll ask me if his head is going to get big like his brother's was.

James has been missing his brother a lot recently. He tells me of dreams he has where he hears Jerard laughing or banging on his tray or even talking to him.

It's hard to know as a mom how to help my son grieve his loss. I miss Jerard too. That is the nature of grief over the loss of a loved one. A hole is left in your heart.

This month, March 7th marked the second year anniversary of Jerard's last hospital stay due to major seizures which left him unable to swallow or move. It seems James is intuitively aware of that as it's been since the beginning of this month he's been missing his brother so much more.

We took flowers to Jerard's grave the other day.

We shared stories about Jerard. James asked about the burial spot and I told him that God answered my prayer to get a burial spot for Jerard at the top of the hill.

Grieving is the process of mourning the loss and learning
to walk on....