C.S. Lewis sums up well, from his book, "a Grief Observed" how grief is....
There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don't really mind so much,
not so very much, after all. Love is not the whole of a man's life.
I was happy before I ever met H. I've plenty of what are called "resources." People get over these things. Come, I shan't do
so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems
for a little to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden
jab of red-hot memory and all this "commonsense" vanishes
like an ant in the mouth of a furnace.
C.S.Lewis, A Grief Observed
today sadness washes up on the shores of my life...the graham crackers James was snacking on today reminded me of Jerard and his eating and his pleasure in graham crackers....the banana bread we had this morning was another reminder of him....I was out shopping with James and called him "Jerard" several times....
Grief is like that...ebbing and flowing....today my mother's heart is really missing my little guy.....